The Max Murdok Program

Stay "Informed" My Friends!

I have NEVER been one to follow pop culture trends. I don’t “tweet” often, I don’t own a “crackberry” and I’m fairly sure I have never been “Metrosexual”. But some of YOU, jeez! Get with the times! You are sooooo “early 2000′s” Happy New Year,..whatever that means. Odds are it won’t be, but I mean it as satirically serious as possible. You can try right?

I could care less. You don’t care if I care less because you know I’m not being careless. If I was you couldn’t care less anyway! If I didn’t care less & you couldn’t care less then we’d both be careless. That’s the problem! See I care, its just enough to be careful, I don’t know why I’m telling you, you could care less. Or maybe your couldn’t care less. Careless on your part I say. Ehh, I don’t care!

Through most of my life I’ve pondered this question. Spending hours just looking out the window as the rain trickled down on a spring afternoon or as I lie awake in bed staring at the ceiling. As I travelled the highways of this country or when I’d sit on the side of a mountain watching clouds drift by. Why is it possible to have an Uncle Dick but not an Aunt Cunt?

Not that I want to make a habit of this, but next time I see a chance I’m going to try and get arrested. However, I plan to demand a female officer frisk or pat me down because frankly, a guy, cop or not, fondling my happy parts is gay. Thats my plan: Yes officer, ma’am. I have something dangerous in my drawers. Thank you. That? Its a Love Gun. Yes, it’s loaded. Owwww MY EYES!!!!

Ladies. Here is how to anger ANY male. Your dad husband clergymen son brother any normally calm male of our species. Refer to their underwear as “panties”. They’ll say …my, my what? Then correct you. Disregard & continue calling them panties. Its risky. Some will leave in anger, some will protest loudly $ homicide is possible. Ehh, some may say aww you caught me but its a fun torment either way. Good luck!

For more babble, continue reading… “In your FACEbook,…continued.” »