The Max Murdok Program

Kind of literally. It’s time for one of those bitchin’ about my health posts including my Crohn’s situation, my heart developments, and just the general state of feeling like shit. This is by no means a pity post. The best way sometime to see results is to put this kind of stuff out there and see where the chips may fall. I do so at the risk of getting some well meaning but not really helpful suggestions. Trust me, I’ve heard most of them. They are like a bad penny,…um whatever the hell that means.

They're out to get me!

Some of you ( and I thank you ) have read my previous posts on my many hospital stays. This post is not about that stuff. This post is basically to share the fact that I am at my wits end with this disease. I know for a fact that many people, unlike me, lead very productive lives with Crohn’s. My situation is different. All those with Crohn’s have different situations and I understand that. I’m posting to get the message out that I need to approach this thing a different way. I am willing to travel to any part of the planet just to have a day where I don’t feel like ass.

So lets back up here and explain a few things, like what I deal with. I always wake up with gut pain. I take meds before bed and I do get OK sleep, sure that could be better too. But my day starts with pain. So the pills are popped and the morning ruined as I wait for things to kick in. Kick in enough for me to be able to sit upright. Thats an accomplishment. Some days when I get past the start of my day one would see me and think I am 100% healthy. Partly I put on a good game face but sometimes, yeah, I feel OK. But at some point that will fade away. I still have blood in my stool. I still run to the head 6 – 10 times a day. When I do have a doctors appointment, other than with my G.P. Dr. Scheeler ( who at least gets some things rolling in the right direction ) it’s usually radiating me in some diabolical machine that, thanks to 6 years of testing, give me a fear – claustrophobia that is off the scale so I have anxiety and usually can’t go thru with the tests. Physically I get sicker. Its lame, I know that. I try to endure it. It doesn’t work and usually my protests fall on deaf ears. Dr. Scheeler already thinks I have had way too much radiation as it is. I joke and I say “Cure me before you kill me – yes, its on a T-shirt now! ) but it’s true.

Dr. Sabel at South Denver G.I. has basically thrown his hands up in a matter of speaking. You know he’s at his wits end when he’s the one suggesting I get a second opinion, and he’s the best in the Denver area. I’m proud to have him as a doctor and since we’ve known each other so long I can call him friend and know he’s giving it to me straight, and he really doesn’t know what to do with me at this point. He suggested The University of Chicago’s Gastroenterology Department. I’ve also looked at Penn State Hershey Gastroenterology – UCLA’s Digestive Disease Center – Hell even the Royal College of Physicians & The British Society of Gastroenterology in London. I wouldn’t rule out Gastroenterology in China for Christ’s sake! Like I said, I will go to ends of the earth to find some kind of relief. For more babble, continue reading… “Gettin’ Tired of Having my Ass Whooped.” »