Get ready girls. You haven't seen beef cake like this since Aunt Leona made her special holiday meat loaf. Come to think of it, you haven't been this sick either. These men will warm your heart, charm your soul and make you more moist than a damp basement! Get ready to pick out that ring ( since you'll be buying it anyway ) and meet Mr. Right. Well, Mr. Slighty off Center at least. Here they are Ladies, the best of the net! Bon Appetite!!!

Don't worry lads, we have your future goddess, just click HERE
NEW!! Check out some of our HAPPY COUPLES who met here online!

Single White Wormy Gap Tooth Zero

Hi Ladies, I am Barry. I am into crafts and guns. I have a small apartment near the fish farm and I have a good handshake. I enjoy romantic poetry and being rogered relentlessly with a vacuum hose. I seldom wear socks. In my spare time I dodge the sex crime unit. I drive a 1966 Chevette which is painted purple. I used house paint and a roller. I am looking for someone special with a brain problem. Join me for some tapioca.

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Dream Boat Sprung a Leak!

I am a sexy male, rejected by the US Coast Guard.
Well, that is about it. If you want me then write me bitch!

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Career Man Juggles Life, Love and Money

I am a yuppie with tons of green and on the scene. Ladies, let me shower you with affection and parlor tricks. These hands are skilled in many ways. What I lack in chin definition, I more than make up in my underwear. All of my lovers weep after I cast them aside for my one true love,....setting up Christmas decorations in August. In my spare time I like getting chased by the punks down at Castro's Deli. I am 643-1 against them. I can still out run them. Some of them have their children chase me now. The one loss came when they fired bombed my home, but they don't have my address now. Come, take my hand baby. Be my girl.

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Is dis da place where I am to type in a title for myself?

Holy Smokes Sweety Chicky. I am Muhmadula. You can see
I am new. I moved to this great country from my homeland....New Jersey. You will write me or I will beat you like a dog. I have big heart and open pants. Your dreams are to change and I will tie you to a pipe, nude, until you bake me bread and rub my feet. I make you have babies and they will grow to be rich and own Saabs. I will have more wifes's than you because you are a fat lazy American. You may kiss your girlfriends mouth and take me to Springer. I love to met you. I pose for you seductive and you can never resist Muhmadula. I make Holy Jihad to your private areas.

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I Only Have Eye's for YOU

I am the god of love. Greetings mortal females, it is I, TODD the GOD. I long to fondle you and tease you with sex and electric things. I spend hours following babes and pretending to buy hemorrhoid creams or unmentionables. I sometimes go to church, but I have found out that Jesus is a mother fucker and a two ball bitch faggot so fuck him! I am sensitive and warm. Sometimes the cops pick me up for no reason, like its illegal to sell porn at little league games. Are you that special lady who can calm my savage nazi? Then all of this is all of yours.

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The Legs of Ginger Rodgers, The Voice of Buck Owens, and a Heart of Electro Plated 12K Gold Embossing.

Hi Ladies. I am a straight truck driver who likes the freedom of a skirt and the envy of ladies who say I have better legs than them. I am divorced with two beautiful grown kids one of which is dead now. I like to kick pumpkins and sing real loud with no music at all. I am seeking a soul-mate or better yet, a blouse to go with my skirt so we can travel the aisles of life like a bargain at Penny's.

If you believe in love, can over look a grown man in a skirt, and can stand the smell of my breath,...please write me.

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African American Grad Student seeks Brown Sugga!

Yo, Yo, Yo, Snoop Whitey Snow-Ball is up in the his house. True Dat!
I am from South Africa and move to this Bee-atch a few years ago to throw down some crib-work, raise the dope and school it up, you know what I'm sayin'? Ight, dig dis here. I am look to bone up to some fine mama who ain't been playin' it. You down wiff a fly guy wiff da moves, then I'm yo man. I'm the OG, and a playa! Peace.

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No, I'm not Bob from Sesame Street.

I am Bob from Poppy Blvd. My friends Oscar and Elmo put me up to this. I am actually quite shy. I normally just sit home and smoke a few dozen packs of cigarettes with my pal Gordon. Sometimes Luis and Maria stop by and bring weed. Then we sit around and talk to a big yellow bird. One time I stuck my arm up a frogs ass and I haven't touched the stuff since. Anyway, I am looking for Sunny Days Chasing the Rain away. I hope this is you.

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I like bush!

It's me, Mervin. I get freaky when I am in the sack. My tongue is double jointed to, even,....yes! I have a romantic night planned for you. First, some Hungry Man dinners then a walk down to the 7-11 for smokes. Later we can retire to my basement where I have one of those stand up arcade Ms. Pac Man games. I'll play naked while you video tape me. I like to groove to the Human League baby. Wanna meet my muscle?

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Pot!

Ain't weed great? I like weed. You like weed?
Wanna get high? Spark a doob! BONG ME BABY!

...cool.

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Oh fuckin' GREAT!

Yeah, it's me MAX! So it's all come down to this huh? Shit! I went around doing that dopey ass LIVER stuff, making swell web pages and writing books hoping to score a major piece of ass and look where I end up! Jesus H. Christ! I'm fuckin' screwed now! It's gonna be drunk and disgruntled, 2 pack a day smokin', dysfunctional toothless, beer swillin' agitated mean broads in ill fitting out of date garments for me from here on out. Joy! Let's take a long walk on the beach so I can use you for bait!

Well as long as I'm here, I'll take a handjob! Thank you that is all!

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I'm the man your mama warned you about!

I don't know why the bitch would do that. Fuck! I thought she was coming on to me. Fuck! She wanted it. Thought she was playing hard to get and all. Fuck! I thought she was into the rough junk. Fuck! I told the cops that she wanted me, then she changed her story and said I was stalking her. Fuck! I'll be out of the joint in a few months. If me and your mom can't patch it up, you wanna come get some of this? I got a truck! Fuck!

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